Being Positive

This morning I found myself once again taking a negative tone in a conversation.  A coworker was speaking to me about the benefits of life in Australia over the United States.  When I came to myself I realized that I was again spouting facts and figures about the declining US Middle Class (see here, here, or here).  All these things may be true.  But who likes a pontificator?  I sure don’t want to be one.

Negativity as an indicator
When I catch myself holding negativity in a conversation, I’m usually feeling indignation at an injustice being done to some group of people.

This is almost never an effective response.

At better times, I am able to identify the policy, situation or behavior triggering my emotional response, and from there come up with improvements.  Such suggestions almost always are less expensive and result in a better experience for the people involved.

False Positive
Have you ever been around someone who insisted that only happy things were discussed?  While it’s essential for success to get in the habit of focusing on solutions, part of the growth process involves preliminary discomfort on the way to something new.  My teacher John Pierrakos used to say that all of life has a beat of Expansion – Contraction – Rest.  In the growth phase the expansion is larger than the contraction, leaving the organism at a higher level during the rest, and future cycles.

Insisting on ignoring true problems and issues is akin to taking painkillers after a serious accident rather than seeking medical attention.  You may be okay – but is it really wise to take the risk?

Who links to me?

Originally posted 2008-04-25 11:13:00.

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