“Stakeholder Management” is one of those terms that could easily be removed from our project management vocabulary. The next time you hear it in conversation imagine that what was really said was “stakeholder manipulation”. Would the sentence still make sense?
People are smart. Manipulation seldom works in the long run, and especially in complicated group endeavors like most technology projects.
Stakeholder as Enemy
When did it become acceptable to have an US versus THEM attitude in regard to our stakeholders? I remember counseling a fellow project manager about a web content project he was managing. The gist of the conversation was how bad the stakeholder was because (a) she would never sign off on a deliverable and (b) she would constantly insist upon changing details of screens, organization of data (taxonomy) and even file naming conventions well after the requirements had been finalized.
Sound familiar?
While most of us have had similar experiences on one or more of our projects, there is a difference between normal project friction and toxic level project disorder. Part of being a good project manager is knowing how to bring together people with varying personalities, roles and ideas such that they can create a joint outcome much better than it would be otherwise.
On a normal project there are times when business needs will shift before the project has been completed. The tendency will be for the business owner to want the project to change to meet the new business reality. It is up to the project manager to work with the stakeholder to understand the impact of such changes. In a bad project situation, no agreement can be reached. In a worse situation, no such communication takes place.
Some stakeholders will always be difficult to deal with. Nevertheless, to do a competent job as a PM, you will need to find a way to present your best face and make the communication you have with him or her as best as you can make it.
Og Mandino to the Rescue
Og Mandino (1923-1996) is best known for his book, Greatest Salesman in the World. His books focus on helping people develop the skills needed to lead. Constant themes throughout are the essential values of patience, kindness and compassion. These qualities are as important to project managers as subject knowledge, tools and detail focus.
Og wrote a short book later in his life called, A Better Way to Live. One of the 17 sections of the book provides a method which might help to create and maintain these attitudes in us when dealing with those stakeholders who are particularly hard to deal with.
Dead at Midnight
For the rest of the day today, treat everyone you interact with as if you knew without a doubt that they would be dead at midnight tonight.
This is your whole assignment.
It will work.
(
Photo credit: lsirtosky)
If you liked this article, please Tweet it! 
or
Bookmark it 
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Good posting Alec.
I have just returned from meeting a potential client and one of the aspects I suggested was training the target group of new project managers to develop their influencing skills. This group are all involved in major change projects and need to be able to take internal and lots of external stakeholders along with them. I always view stakeholder management as a key process in the project management process. Without stakeholder involvement the project could well wither and die. I have not heard many people talk about the enemy however I can see why people would say this.
This encourages me to say we need more time training and influencing people about stakeholder management especially managing your least favourite stakeholder!
Ron Rosenhead´s last blog post..Let’s bring back the real meaning of “deadline” in projects…