Mentoring how to: Mentor and be mentored!

This month I had my first meeting with a new mentor.  We met after work at the Radiance tea house in Manhattan.  The location was convenient.  The atmosphere was soothing, quiet and conducive to the kind of focused and relaxed conversation which marks good mentoring.  I left feeling hopeful, inspired and ready to act.

Have you ever thought of working with a mentor?  Here are some guidelines.

1.    What is mentoring

A mentor is a wise counselor or teacher.  In a mentoring relationship the mentor shares knowledge, skills, information, and perspective  to foster the personal and professional growth of the mentee.

Structured mentoring programs bring people together using a formal process to meet the goals of an organization.  While there are benefits to this kind of mentoring program, you would do well to focus on creating your own informal mentoring program.

Informal, or casual mentoring is arranged directly by the people involved, and can take a number of forms.  Peer Mentoring, either structured or informal involves two or more people coming together to provide mutual support and advice.

Informal mentoring between an experienced person and one with less experience is what is discussed in this chapter.

2.    Why have a mentor?

Mentoring provides you with the benefit of someone else’s experience.  The guidance you receive can shield you from having to reinvent the wheel as you grow in your career.  Being able to see yourself and your situation from another viewpoint can greatly increase your effectiveness.

To make the most of the mentoring relationship, it’s important to be clear as to what you want you are trying to achieve.  On which areas of your career would you like to focus?  (Some examples: stakeholder relationships, managing conflict, setting up your plan to land your next position).

Having a clear goal for what you are trying to achieve will make it easier for you to approach potential mentors.

3.    What’s in it for the mentor?

One of the great pleasures in life is to share the benefit of one’s experience with others.  Most working professionals have relatively few opportunities to do this.  For busy leaders, the time spent mentoring can provide a refreshing break in the midst of all their other activities.  This is especially true if you enter into the mentoring relationship with the intention of acting on the ideas the both of you discuss.

4.    What to look for in a mentor

Once you are clear as to what you want to achieve through your mentoring, you can begin to think about possible mentors.  It may be best to identify at least 3 people.  Some potential mentors will not have the time.  Others may not be interested in mentoring.  Don’t take this personally.  Just be courteous and respectful to everyone you speak with.  There will be someone out there more than willing to mentor you!

Your mentor may be in a different position, role or even field from your own.  This need not be a concern, as long as they have experience in the area or areas in which you are seeking mentoring.  What is important is that your mentor has these characteristics:

• Know what they are doing
• Respected by people at all levels (peers, direct reports, their leadership)
• Have skills and qualities you admire
• Demonstrate integrity (e.g. they do what they say)

5.    How to ask to be mentored

When you approach a potential mentor, be calm, confident and respectful.  If they do not know you, introduce yourself, give a brief description of your role, and explain that you are looking for a mentor to help you with the issue you are looking to address.

Let the mentor know exactly how much time and effort will be required.

For example, “My name is Joanne Wilson.  I’m a business analyst here at JJK.  You were recommended by Mary Hines as someone with a great deal of experience with project stakeholders.  I’m looking for guidance in this area, and wondered if you’d be interested in exploring a mentoring relationship.  If we decided to work together the time involved would be not more than a half-hour every three weeks or so.  What do you think about mentoring?

6.    Mentoring session

Whatever format your relationship with your mentor takes, it’s crucial that you show courtesy for your mentor by coming prepared to each session.  This means that you have a clear topic or agenda for the meeting, you show up when expected and keep to the allotted time.  Don’t contact your mentor between meetings unless your mentor has invited you to do so.

7.    Further Resources

• How to Find a Good Mentor by Ellesse Chow on Goal Setting College
• How to find and utilize a mentor no matter what you’re doing by Trent Hamm on Simple Dollar
• How to find a mentor by Roman Rytov on Roman’s Miles
• Finding a mentor on Inc. Guides
• The value of a mentor by Katharine Hansen on QuintCareers

(Photo credit: lebenszentrum adelshofen)

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