As I look back on my life, how surprised I am to see so many loving human beings who have believed in me. In the most challenging times they’ve been there – caring, supporting and holding a vision of my highest expression.
Back in the old days (the 1990s), people would sometimes talk about their family of choice. My family of choice includes my birth family. It also includes other strong, meaningful, cherished connections for which no word in English that I know of can describe.
There’s an old Hasidic tale which says that there are 17 parts to every human soul. Part of our journey towards enlightenment is the regathering together of all our parts. The trick is that each human being has only one or two parts. We have to find the people who make up the rest.
I don’t know how true the details of this legend may be. But I do know that we are all on a journey, and that any notion of aloneness I may have had earlier in my life was patently untrue. We are all in this together.
Leadership, Success and Networks
More and more I believe that leadership and success are the result of networks of people. We’re all in many networks which come together for various purposes. This entry is about one of my networks – the one which has fed and sustained me on the deepest level throughout my life adventure to date.
As you read this, my hope is that you will think of the people in your primary network. Do they know how much they mean to you?
Some for a Reason…
It’s said that some people come into our lives for a reason, some for a season and others for a lifetime. Wisdom is discerning which is which.
Here are a few of the people who have come into my life and made a deep and lasting impression. To any others I’ve momentarily forgotten – please feel free to take me to task. You’ll have my sincere thanks. Plus I’ll buy you a nice cup of tea, or whatever your drink of choice may be by the time we next meet again.
1. Family by Birth
It is sometimes said that the most compassionate people face significant challenges early in life. I rather think that life itself is generally a collection of opportunities – some of which are harder than others. For all the struggles that members of my birth family have faced, these their strengths are sure:
- Humor
- Generosity
- Super-abundance of Love
Jeffrey Perper, deceased – During the summers of my early teen years, my uncle Jeff took me with him everywhere. He drove a big Dodge Ram truck, a stick shift, the ancestor of our modern SUVs. Jeff loved to tear around the corners of Potomac and Washington, D.C. Usually our trips together were to buy and sell items for his antique business on Wisconsin Avenue in Georgetown. Jeff refinished much of the beautiful furniture himself. His wife at the time, Shelley Kay Zitin, would bring Jarlsburg cheese and fresh green apples for us to eat. Other times we would walk across the street to the French Market for delicious turkey sandwiches on crusty fresh bread. Jeff had a truly caring nature, and treated all people as equals. He sometimes would have long conversations with the Hare Krishnas who had a storefront business just down the street. At a time when I felt bored and alienated at school, he was one of the adults who held out a vision of a future when I would have more say in the composition of my days.
Sandy and Marvin Sugar – Some of my happiest times growing up were holiday meals spent with my aunt and uncle at their home in Georgetown. During the summers they would always invite me to spend time with them at their condo in Rehoboth Beach. These were healing times when my soul reclined and expanded.
Ruth Perper, deceased – My grandmother was a tough lady. Born in Litchfield, Minnesota, she grew up in Lynnewood in Philadelphia and sometimes would tell me stories of what it was like to grow up in that time and place. (She was born in 1917.) Ruth was the first person I knew who showed true unconditional love.
Joel Satin – One of my earliest memories was climbing downstairs early in the morning in our home in Chevy Chase, MD, and eating breakfast with my dad. He loved to listen of a morning to WAMU, which at 7am would play Here comes the Sun. To this day, that song still reminds me those happy mornings with my just my father and I. My dad gave me of his best.
Barbara Satin, deceased – My mother was a native of Washington, DC. She was clever, very imaginative and an avid reader. Not many people could beat her in an argument! One of her true pleasures was to start the day with a cup of Taster’s Choice freeze dried coffee and the morning Washington Post. My mother was loved by many, but known by very few. When she died her funeral service was attended by more than 150 people.
Michael Perper - My cousin and one of my closest family members. A lover of stories and laughter, generous to a fault, a person who lives with passion. Michael’s been a true friend for many years.
Jack Satin, deceased – My grandfather’s stories of New York City and Chicago during Depression days are with me still. After his death I was shocked to discover that I was the only one who knew these tales. I never appreciated how important I was to him.
2. Those Crazy High School Years
Pam Marshall – Pam was a friend who gave me the gift of her true self. We lost touch in high school and have not seen each other since. I will always think of her with kindness and caring.
Chris Lee - Chris is a master of long vision. Friends since second grade, I’m thankful that he has kept any judgments he may have had of me to himself! I’ve watched with pleasure and happiness as his plans from 30+ years ago have been fulfilled. Chris my friend, may your life bring everything your heart desires.
Rob Peterson – During high school and before Rob and his family modeled for me the solid virtues of steadfastness, honesty, and goodness.
Phoebe Brown - Phoebe is one of those people whose influence on me wasn’t felt until years later. Phoebe, wherever you are, if you read this, please think about getting in touch. I looked up to you in school and wish I had been confident enough to tell you.
Dana Gloor – A bright and precocious star filled with life and hope for the future. Your intelligence and confidence at 16 dazzled me. It still does. I’m glad to be counted your friend after all this time.
3. Beloved Teachers
Sue North – Loved me and treated me as a son during the year I lived with her family in New Zealand, 1982. Gave me a true appreciation of the best of England - the character of her people.
Mr. Bob Young, Gym Teacher, Herbert Hoover Highschool 1977 – A true coach in the highest sense.
Larry Fisher, MSW – Hunter College graduate from the days when New York was a tougher place. One of the smartest men I’ve ever known. If you take the creativity of your mother and the brains of your father, you will make a great life for yourself. You were so right, Larry. Our connection was short – but your influence on me remains.
Anita Bussard, deceased - The grandmother of my friend Rob who became one of my closest friends. For four years in the mid 1980s I spent 3 mornings a week sitting her kitchen eating slices of freshly baked Giant Food English Raisin Bread and drinking endless cups of drip coffee as she smoked, laughed and reflected. Anita, in your unselfish service and love for others, in your self-respect and wonderful humor, you taught me by example what it is to have a good life.
Barbara Chudnow – A true spiritual teacher. Barbara, you reintroduced me to my heart.
Kuno Bachbauer, MD – Kuno, you modeled what it is to be a fully integrated human being – body, mind and soul.
Barbara Bennett - Your life is a testimony to the power of loving service. You are a true being of light. One day I would like to be more like you.
4. Lifesavers
Chris Rogutsky – Chris, you saved my life. I will always be grateful. Any good which may come from my efforts from then until now is a credit to you. You well deserve all happiness that comes your way.
Charles Lorey – May you find all that your heart seeks.
5. Dear Friends
John Harrell, III, deceased – That John-shaped space in all of us who knew you still remains unfilled. Just today I suddenly had something happy to share with you. Perhaps it reached you where you are.
Scott Sidel - Long ago you said we were akin to Castor and Pollux. How right you are, my good friend.
Cindy Ripp Satin – My wish for you is only happiness.
Tara Avery, deceased – A master gardener, brilliant explorer, wise Piscean soul. You taught me the beauty of the earth.
Deborah Novotny - Friend through many chapters of life. You are a touchstone. Will there be a chatty Christmas letter this year?
Sara Mason - The most natural leader I’ve ever seen. I can hardly wait to see where your life takes you. The light in you shines so brightly. Can you see it?
John Wotherspoon – You are the model of a people-centered leader.
Eric Lopaty – Eric, you are always quick with a joke or story that makes me smile.
Penny Kriese – What a pleasure it was to have a cube near yours. You have a good soul which you share freely with others. How’s your garden coming?
6. My Life Partner
Lori Hammel - How sweet it is to share our lives together. You make everything easy.
7. My In-Laws
Pam Hammel, Jim Hammel, Todd Hammel, Felicia Hammel, Sara Cloud, Scott Cloud – It is a pleasure to be getting to know each of you. Thank you for so freely and generously accepting me into your family. Pam, when is that next party going to be?
8. My Son
Mark Satin - I am and have always been proud of you.
To all of you
May all of your lives be blessed, wherever you may be today. I am supremely grateful for all you have done for me. Any success I may have in this life is a testimony to you.
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